It's very hard to change the fact that girl-friends are still better. At least, I don't fear them. Maybe I'm still not used to having guys around. I am so paranoid about everything! Scared that I will piss them off, scared that they think I'm weird, scared that I stress them out, scared that I will make them annoyed, scared that...
Weirdly, I don't feel such things when I with the girls. They still feel closer to me. Less stressed to be around girls. And, guys are scary. Really, sometimes. They just make you feel like the whole world stopped. Super scary when they prank you. Annoyingly, they prank and scare people really well. My heart can literally be tossed out when they prank me. Well, you can say it's fun also. But I have a weak heart, just like art. Might not be able to take all the attacks.
Next thing I fear: Being thrown into the pool on bbq day. BIGGEST WORRY.
I shall be very silent that day. So that my words won't go wrong. No one will notice me. I can go home alive. I can survive. Wow, it rhymes! HAHA!

Anyway, today had CO orientation programme. Was not very interesting. Okay, quite boring. The games we played were lame. Really. I mean it. The whole session was rather hard to laugh. But, you know, me being nice, i tried, like " ha-ha". Get it? One amazing fact abt CO freshmen this year. NO ONE AT ALL IS GOOD LOOKING! I am not joking. No girls are pretty, no guys are handsome or cute. In fact, there are sooo many nerdy people. Wow! Tons of girls there. I am very sorry but to say the truth, some look very normal. And some look really, not very pretty. I'm not being mean. But that was what I thought. But doesn't matter, everyone looked like really nice people and I felt quite at ease though I was all alone. That is the most impt thing i look for. At least I don't feel freaked out. There is this CO FOC from 14 -16 june and I am not going because my DTRM bonding camp is on the exact same dates. And DTRM informed us on the first day of orientation so yeah, they win. And so far, I would still rather spend time with 05 and DTRM than CO.
Haha, okay, CMCC camp is on friday. I shall see if it's boring or not. If boring, I will leave on sat. If not, I will stay until sunday and leave for class bbq!!!
Life is not bad!!!
But projects kill, if you don have good leader in the grp.

-希